Behold the Elite Strike-Force Team’s Star Witness.

Operation #shitkraken appears to limping along quite well.

A living caricature who could’ve been drunk, who was likened to an SNL character, who put out so much Can-I-See-Your-Manager Conspiracy Karen Energy she had to be shushed by the flatulent Leader of the Elite Strike-Force Team, who described herself as a “Duchess of CyberSecurity1”, and who was definitely arrested for harassing her boyfriend’s ex with videos of them having sex.

Imagine my surprise when she was found to be “not credible.” I’d genuinely hoped she was an elite troll and that it was performance art of highest calibre2, but there’s a higher likelihood of Mediacom deciding to treat its customers with respect.

Update

Even though both the Fearless Leader and his Elite Sidekick have COVID, she won’t quarantine unless her God Emperor tells her to:

“I would take it seriously if it came from Trump, because Trump cares about American lives,” she said, adding that if fringe networks that regularly traffic in coronavirus misinformation such as One America News or Newsmax “told me to go get tested, I would do it.”

“Viral Michigan witness won’t quarantine after Rudy Giuliani and Jenna Ellis test positive for COVID”

  1. With a certificate of completion from the prestigious ITT Tech. ↩︎

  2. I’m glad others are as worried as I am about how Kate McKinnon could possibly do Mr. Guiliani and Ms. Carone. ↩︎