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Fearless Leader of former President’s Elite Strike-Force Legal Team Gets Wasted and Advises his Client to “Just Declare Victory” Regardless of Outcome

“Just say we won,” Giuliani reportedly instructed Trump’s team, explaining that they should simply declare victory in each battleground state. Giuliani is then said to have told Trump directly: “Just go declare victory right now… You’ve got to go declare victory now.”

Some solid strategery here. The Best People, folks. I want this to end but I don’t want it to end.